The Space Between Us
"Bec, I NEED you to TELL ME what you WANT..." he implored.
"Yes, well, I WANT you to KNOW what I NEED."
And there it was.... The space between us. It might as well be as wide as the Pacific Ocean and as life-sucking as the largest black hole, the words falling into it before they ever even reach the other person.
How did we get here, again? I mean, I know. I spend my days juggling running a business, and buying groceries, and squeezing in pitiful runs, and trying to manage morning sickness, and amusing this monkey that is trying to pass for my child. He spends his days doing.... hell, I don't know what he does (hmmmm, maybe there's a clue there? I should ask about his day sometime). We are two solar systems revolving around separate suns. Intimately familiar with our own struggles and strife; Blind to the view from the other side. It works ok. It's fine, functional. At least, until the planets collide.
And as in marriage, so is it also in humanity. Diametrically different humans wired for completely different roles residing together on one planet, against all odds. The spaces between us vast and uncharted.
There we stand.
Me, chin high, ready to fight. It's what I know, what I do best.
Him, shoulders rounded wearing every regret and seeming failure, and more than willing to add another to the list.
And then he reaches across the space to grab my hand. "Hey, maybe let's just love each other..."
The space between us, between all of us, will always be there because it is essential to life. The only way across the giant expanse, the only bridge over the black hole is grace. You see, we need these spaces. Just as in my marriage I am called to ride the raft of grace over the roughest ocean to close the space between my husband and I, we as humans are called to traverse the bridge. We are called to reach across the divide and give grace because we NEED the space between us and we NEED the magic that happens when that space is filled, even just for a moment. The democrats need the republicans and the rich people need the poor people and every color of every nation needs every other color.
It is the beautiful tension of each person pulling on their own thread of humanity that keeps life in balance.
We walk through our time here on Earth so very aware of the spaces between us and so blind to the common thread that connects each of us. We listen to the shouts from across "the space" and we hesitate to even turn toward them, to reach across, to consider making the space between us just a bit smaller. You see, the space between us... it is constantly growing, shifting. We must actively turn towards it and forcefully cross it.
We are called to do so.
Because to traverse that unknown, uncharted territory is to be human. It is what we do, what we have always done. We must fill in the spaces with grace and compassion and love. Forgiveness and understanding can serve as the the crossbeams. It will be messy and probably a little sloppy but the effort will be so worth it. We can turn our hearts towards each and appreciate the overwhelming spaces between us. And we can know that these spaces, they are ok. They are more than that. They are necessary.
I mean, maybe let's just love each other...